A couple’s sleeping position can say a lot about what kind of relationship they have and how they really feel about each other. Your subconscious controls the way you sleep, so sleep-fueled body language can serve as an interesting insight into what might be going on, even if you’re not aware of certain things while the sun is up.
Here, we’ve culled information from scientists, psychologists, therapists, and relationship counselors to interpret what 12 different couple sleeping positions might mean.
Back to Back
Although sleeping with your back to your partner and a space in between you might not seem too romantic, one study found it’s the most common of all couple sleeping positions, likely because it’s practical.
Twenty-seven percent of the couples surveyed for the study identified this position as their primary one. Corrine Sweet, the relationship psychologist who carried out the study, says the position shows their couples are connected and secure. “This position shows both closeness and independence in the relationship,” she says.
The Spoon
When it comes to couple sleeping positions, this one’s a classic. In Sweet’s study, 18 percent of couples said they spooned when they snoozed. She says the position demonstrates a dynamic where one partner is protective over the other.
Remember, the signs that you can trust your partner aren’t always the most obvious. Patti Wood, a body language expert and author of Success Signals: A Guide to Reading Body Language, told Cosmopolitan it’s also sensual. “It’s a very vulnerable position that’s sexual, but says, ‘I trust you,’” she says.
But beware the spoon position turning into a chase: If your partner has retreated toward one side of the bed and you’ve gone to follow him or her, something could be amiss (this is not to confused with the “loose spoon,” which tends to occur as a couples’ relationship matures).
The Loose Spoon
A variation on the traditional Spoon, the Loose Spoon just means there’s a bit of space between the couple. Don’t mistake those few inches for lack of intimacy, though. On the contrary, it usually means you’ve been together long enough to trust one another and don’t feel the need to constantly be touching.
This position is the natural evolution of a couple who started their relationship in a tight Spoon but now recognizes quality sleep (and some space) is important.
The Liberty Lovers
Another position more common with established couples, the Liberty Lovers sleep back-to-back, but with space between them. Sweet’s study found 27% of couples fall sleep this way. Despite facing opposite directions and not touching, this position actually indicates you’re connected and secure.
You can be close without touching, sharing a bed but independent. You’re the kind of couple that’s OK doing things alone but can’t wait to be back together to share stories and recount your day.
The Shingles
Not the sexiest name on the list but one that indicates a high level of comradeship. Typically, both partners are on their backs, with one resting his or her head on the other’s shoulder.
Because of the strong egos here (people who sleep on their backs are thought to possess big personalities), when one partner complies and lets the other play protector, it means you really understand each other. It indicates confidence in the relationship.
The Nuzzle
The ultimate sign of trust and protection, the Nuzzle is common in new and rekindled relationships. When one partner sleeps with his or her head on the other’s chest, it creates a nurturing, open position and a sense of companionship as you snuggle.
Sleeping on your back indicates confidence and self-assurance and sends the message that you’re using your power to protect your partner. If you’re the one resting on your partner, you’re independently dependent—capable of doing your own thing but appreciative of and in love with your significant other.